| Luke: | "You used to program." |
| Ben: | "I was once a software engineer the same as your father." |
| Luke: | "My father wasn't a software engineer. He was a custodian at Lockheed-Martin." |
| Ben: | "That's what your Uncle told you. He didn't hold with your father's ideals. He thought he should go to work. Not gotten a degree." |
| Luke: | "I wish I had known him." |
| Ben: | "He was a cunning object-oriented analyst, and the best systems programmer in the galaxy. I understand you've become quite a good hacker yourself. And he was a good friend. For over ten years the systems programmers created user interfaces. Before the dark times. Before Microsoft." |
| Luke: | "How did my father die?" |
| Ben: | "A young systems programmer named Bill Gates, who was a student until his mommy kicked him out of her basement, founded Microsoft and helped destroy the intuitive user interface. He betrayed and murdered the Macintosh. Gates was seduced by the Dark Side of Money." |
| Luke: | "Money?" |
| Ben: | "Yes, Money is what gives a programmer his resources. It's an exchange system created by human beings. It surrounds us. Works for us. Binds the economy together. Which reminds me. Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough, but your Uncle wouldn't allow it. He thought you'd follow old Obi-Wan on some damn idealistic crusade." |
| Luke: | "What is it?" |
| Ben: | "It's an object modeling tool. The weapon of a systems programmer. Not as random or clumsy as a lexical parser. An elegant compiler for a more civilized age." |
[Note - originally appeared titled "Object-Oriented Jedi" on "Funny Town", a humor publication at http://www.funnytown.com. My thanks to them for granting reprint permission - ed.]